a chaos of ideas

What’s crazy about my life, is that often the things that scare me the most are things that most people spend time being excited about.  Steps in life scare me, it means we are getting older and that life is continuing without us.  This particular thing that scares me is meeting someone that i’m attracted to.  Especially when I can’t pin down the reason that I am attracted to said person.

I can trace this feeling back to middle school, the most intense crushes I had were usually for unexplainable reasons.  I couldn’t decide why i liked them but i did and i couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

This has all been brought on by the very minuscule prospect of a fun guy in my life, however it has made me evaluate the way that situations vs. people make me feel.